Sunday Stirrings

One of the things I love about Sundays is church and the questions that stir in my heart the rest of the day.  Lately I feel like the sermons have been speaking directly to me and situations in my life.  The church I have been going to is currently conducting a series on temptation and the different ways we are tempted into sin.  Today focused on safety and how God's will isn't always the safe option but it is always the good option.  This concept resonated with me on a number of levels.

First, when starting nursing school I thought I would really enjoy working with people who struggle with mental illness and that I would be able to help them and could empathize with them.  I have mental health clinicals this semester and every time I leave clinicals I have a feeling of discomfort in my heart.  I have been interpreting this feeling as "this area of nursing is not for me" but maybe it is something different.  I know I am very new to mental health nursing and I haven't found my comfort zone in the field yet... maybe that is how it is suppose to be...maybe it is good that I don't feel 'safe' in this area of nursing and maybe you are not suppose to... maybe that is what makes good mental health nurses.  What I do know is that I find myself reflecting on my experiences in the mental health unit for multiple days after clinicals.  So maybe I won't count it out just yet and maybe this is a place where I can do the most good.

Second, lately I have been recognizing a fear in my heart that I usually try to suppress.  The fear that once Jonathan and I finally get to the point of starting our lives together, it will be cut short.  (wow - feels weird to write that out loud...) 

    [Here is a little history - Jon and I have been dating for over 4 years and most of our relationship has been long/short distance.  He deployed for the first time about 3 months after we first started dating; when he returned he found a job that took him across the state of MN for 3 years (so we did short distance dating = 4 hours apart).  This was all followed by his acceptance into the active duty army officer training program and my acceptance into graduate school.  Currently we are both living in GA but still maintain our 'short distance' relationship.]

We try to make the most of every minute we get together but sometimes I find myself waiting for our life together to finally start.   Here's the point of all of this - I know the life Jon and I are choosing is not the safest choice, Jonathan's career may will offer many difficult and fearful situations, and sometimes I let my fear get the best of me.  The sermon this morning was a great reminder that it is OK to not always feel safe or comfortable and many times living God's will may be unsafe but His will is also always good.  It settles my heart to know that no matter where we go, what we do or how much time we get together, as long as we stick to our faith and follow where God leads then we will have joy and peace.  There will always be things that scare me in life but I don't want to miss the adventure just because I fear the outcomes.  

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." ~ Acts 20:24

There you have it folks, a little bit of my heart and the life lessons that have been marinating in my thoughts and prayers today.  I hope this post finds you fearless and joy-filled today.  Take care.

Answered with Ruth

Last week was a trying week for me, I was exposed to some tough stuff and it really had me questioning why I was here.  Why did I go across the US just to go to school?  Isn't life suppose to be about loving the people around you?  And if that is true, then why did I chose to leave the people that I love and that love me just to better my education?  It seemed silly to me that I have been putting so much emphasis on achievement when in the big scheme of things, does it really matter?  As I was dwelling on all of these questions I stumbled onto a passage in Ruth and decided to get creative with it.  Here is what I came up with:

This passage spoke to my heart and even though I know that God is with me wherever I go, I needed the reminder.  I needed to be reminded that you can find God's community of believers wherever you go (or stay) and that there is a purpose for every adventure. 

Side note:  Since moving down here I have found a group of people that I enjoy spending time with and I know that they love me and support me while I am so far away from family.  I am blessed to have met them and have enjoyed that I get to take on the rigors of school with them by my side.  Thanks friends! :-)

A little late, but never gone

It has been 2 months since my last blog post... time has ran faster than I can keep up.  Here is a rundown of my 2 month sprint:

• Fall semester finals completed!  Only three more semesters to go!  I have 10 months and 11 days until graduation - not that anyone is counting. ;-)  This last semester was definitely a transition back to school but I am proud to say I have finally adjusted and found a rhythm. 
• Jonathan graduated from basic training. Going to his graduation was my first exposure to military ceremonies and it was a great experience.  There were reenactments and smoke and imitation gun fire -  I can see why there is a sense of pride for our country and our soldiers that chose the military lifestyle. 

After graduation - isn't he hansome!

•  Spent Christmas break with Jonathan (he had just over 2 weeks off!!).  Break was such a blessing! We got the opportunity to spend time with Jonathan's family, my family and even got some brief moments for the two of us.  The only hard thing about getting so much time with my man was having to say goodbye.  It was so easy to fall into a routine of getting to spend every waking moment with each other and taking the opportunities to love on each other and then you have to say goodbye and it is like having to part with a part of yourself.  Goodbye is what I classify as 'sad day'.

Phone photo - not the best quality but we are enjoying Christmas and New Years at the cabin with my family. :-)
We try to take a photo every New Years - I love the silly hats/headbands!

• Jonathan returned to Fort Benning to start officer training.  He has been in training for 3 weeks now and it is safe to say he is thriving.  I am so proud of him and I am pretty sure he has more athleticism in his big toe than I have in my entire body.  True story.
• I officially started my spring semester and am thriving as well.  We have clinicals 2 days a week, I love every minute and am learning a TON.  My clinicals are currently in mental health and telemetry (cardiac) and I am physically and mentally exhausted after every shift but it is soooo good.  This semester is definitely more time consuming than last semester but the learning curve is astounding!  I feel like I am actually starting to think like a nurse and am understanding why and how diseases happen in patients.  Plus, I have realized that I love learning about the heart!  This semester I feel like a sponge - through lecture and clinicals I am absorbing so much information - This is what makes me  love school! (I know, I am a complete NERD) 
• MLK Day - Jonathan and I both got the day off so I drove down to Columbus, GA to go see my man.  We spent the day getting supplies he needed for his living quarters (doesn't sound like fun, but it was great to do it together) and we tried our hand at geocaching.  I equate geocaching to a 'big kid scavenger hunt'.  People hide 'caches' and you use the GPS coordinates to locate them.  Here are a few photos of our adventure - I am not the best self-portrait photographer with my cell phone... 

 

Our first find!



Enjoying our day at the park in the sunshine - what a great day!



There you have it - my last 2 months in a nutshell.  This semester is already incredibly busy but I want to try to blog more than I have been.  I am currently sitting in the library enjoying a cup of coffee and flipping between Matthew West and Nora Jones on my pandora stations.  I do not have clinicals or class on Friday - I use it as my day for studying and catching up.  I am making a promise to myself to take the first hour of my Friday as a mental health moment and an opportunity to catch up on my blogging - it is therapeutic.  So stay tuned for next Friday's entry. 

Thankful

I know it has been over a month since my last post and I don't really have an excuse as to why I haven't been blogging.  :-(  

I had the opportunity to go home for Thanksgiving and I had a wonderful time.  I spent a couple days shadowing my mother; she currently works as a Clinical Nurse Leader (CNL) and was the one who encouraged me to look at accelerated MSN-CNL programs.  Now when my instructors explain what a CNL does, I find myself reverting back to the experiences with my mom.  I am able to continually see how her actions fit into the definition of what a CNL does.  It was a tremendous opportunity and after experiencing what my mom accomplishes in a day and how she impacts patients' lives, I admire her even more. 

The rest of my Thanksgiving break was spend enjoying my family.  Being home made me realize how much I miss having my family close.  There were times before I left for school when I would be at home and feel this unsettling feeling that I wasn't where I needed to be.  Now that I have been at school for awhile, coming home makes me wish I could stay home.  I think sometimes it takes leaving home to realize how grateful you are to have people around you who love and support you no matter what.  I know that my family will continue to love on me no matter where I go, but I definitely miss having them at arms reach all the time.  Going home for Thanksgiving was a teaser and I have been melancholy since I returned to Augusta.  I would have been completely content shadowing my mom for the next 3 weeks instead of coming back here for finals. ;-)

That is right - I said FINALS!  My first semester is coming to a close and only 2 more exams to get through!  It is exciting to think that in 12 months I will be done with school and will be looking for a career job again!  I currently feel like these next 12 months can't go fast enough.  People tell me that I should enjoy that I am in school again, but it is hard to not want to focus on the end.  I am loving the learning but cannot wait to be done!

P.S. I promise my next post will have an update of my goals... so stay tuned!

Adjustments

Jon is officially in basic training and doing well.  Missing him has turned out to be harder than I expected.  The past couple weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions.  We went from being with each other one day to having no communication for 2 weeks.  The transition has been interesting and I know it has taken a toll on me.  The past couple weeks I have found myself irritable and agitated at things that would usually brush off my shoulders.  My patience has been minimal and I have had many feelings of loneliness.  I don't think I realized how much I communicated with Jon in a normal day and how much I would miss that communication when it was taken away.  I find myself getting distracted easily and when my mind wanders it seems to always end at him.  I find myself wondering what he is doing and if he is enjoying surviving training.  It sometimes seems silly that I would be struggling with not communicating with him for two weeks because we will have to make it through a lot longer than two weeks apart. 

There have been a few perks, though.  I have been writing him letters as I wait for his mailing address and last week I got my first 2 minute phone call!  It wasn't long enough but at least I got to hear from him.  Plus, since Jon is prior military he has gotten a few extra perks in basic training - he was given back his cell phone recently!  He can't call on it during training but I do get a text or two in the evenings when he has a little down time before lights out.  Even these small messages bring me so much joy - I catch myself smiling from ear to ear when I hear my phone beep and see a message from him.  That boy truly does make my heart soar - even with a text message.  

I found out this weekend that Jon may also get special privileges to leave base on Sundays in the upcoming weeks and since his basic training location was changed unexpectedly from Fort Sill, OK, to Fort Benning, GA, I may get the opportunity to go see him for the day!!!  We never thought this would happen, especially during basic training.  I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up too much but in all honesty, I AM COMPLETELY JAZZED!  All I keep thinking is there was/is someone watching over us, his basic training location was changed for a reason, and we are completely blessed to get this potential opportunity that we never, ever expected! 

Jon's visit - #2

I know I haven't posted in almost two weeks and I don't really have a good excuse - but here is a update.  Jon came to visit the first week in October and we had a fabulous time!  We tried to fill our time with as many little adventures as we could and I loved introducing him to some of the people in my class.  Before he arrived I did some research on the best BBQ restaurants in the area and it was unanimous - everyone insisted we go to Sconyer's.  Sconyer's is a restaurant authentic to Augusta and is known for their award-winning BBQ (they have even catered BBQ to the white house).  Jon and I went there on Thursday night and it was delicious - I am already planning to take my family there when they come to visit me for graduation next December!  After Sconyer's we met up with some people from class and spent time just hanging out. 

 (This was the only picture we took together the entire time he was here.)

  

On Friday morning we went to Brick Pond.  There is a park in North Augusta that has beautiful walking and biking trails and a pond where 'gators' hang out.  I heard about this place a couple weeks after I moved here and have been dying to go and thought Jon would enjoy it too.  The best part about Brick Pond were the signs.  Before you enter the area they have these signs warning you not to feed the gators and that if you do they will lose their fear of people and be more likely to attack.  I would be lying if I told you that the signs didn't make me a little nervous, but we entered the area anyway.  We didn't see any gators, but we had fun being outside and exploring such a beautiful part of Augusta!  

After Brick Pond we grabbed some lunch and made our evening plans.  Since Jon arrived in Augusta he had been wanting to go to a high school football game.  Everyone knows that football is big in the south, even at the high school level, so this seemed like a perfect way to spend a Friday evening.  Plus, for those of you who don't know, Jon LOVES watching high school football - he is always going to games in his spare time back home.  After the football game we rented a couple movies and picked up some caffeine.  Jon had to be at the airport early Saturday morning and we knew our time together was running out so we made every effort to stay up as late as we could.  I didn't make it as long as I would have liked, but we able to take advantage of a little more quality time before he left.  It was sad taking him back to the airport knowing that we won't see each other until mid December, but it was so great to get a little extra time with him.  I thoroughly enjoy his company and I can't wait until we get to be together for longer durations!

A Southern Weekend

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go to Athens, GA, for a UGA (University of Georgia) football game with a couple girls from school.  I was excited at the chance to get off campus, see some of the different scenery GA has to offer and just get away from school for a bit.  When we decided a group of us was going to attend, the conversation immediately turned to what everyone was going to wear.  Not having been to a southern football game or tailgating party before I was a little confused - when you tailgate at a ND Bison game you wear anything and everything you can to keep you warm and as long as you have something green or gold on, you are set.  The girls proceeded to explain to me that you have to dress up for the occasion and most girls wear dresses, mini skirts, etc. in school colors (red, black and white). 

I went to my closet and realized that the only red clothing item I own is an old high school t-shirt.  So I decided I needed to get creative.  As you know from my previous post, I am trying to be frugal and didn't really want to spend any additional money on an outfit or accessories.  I settled on a black dress I have owned for years, found some red fabric in my craft bin and began to work on accessories.  Here is what I came up with...

It is a headband with the fabric rosettes.  It was fun and easy to make and I think it jazzed up my outfit just enough to fit in.  I also tried to wrap red fabric around my flip-flops to make them look a little more festive but that idea was more of a flop - it started to unravel throughout the day and looked pretty funky by the end of our adventure.  (Ps... note how every one of the girls knows how to 'stand pretty' with one knee up and hips turned, they must teach that stance from a young age - haha. I am going to have to learn how to do that)

We started the morning of the tailgate with breakfast - fried chicken biscuits with jelly.  I have never had chicken for breakfast and was a little scared of the jelly but it was actually quite good!  For tailgating food, we did a 'low country boil' which is where you through potatoes, onion, corn, meat and seafood into a pot of boiling water with some seasoning, cook it, dump it on the table and eat! It was TASTY!  I do love the spices that are used in this part of the U.S. - everything you eat has a kick. YUM! 

Oh and here is a picture from our seats at the stadium.  The Georgia Dome is an open air stadium that seats about 70,000 people on game day, compared to the Fargo Dome holding approximately 20,000.  I thought the Fargo Dome was big until I went to the Georgia Dome.  However, I do think the Fargo Dome is louder - it must have to do with it being a closed dome and extremely proud Bison fans!

I had an absolutely FABULOUS time this weekend.  I loved tailgating in the warm weather and all of the people I have met so far.  It was a great experience and I told Jon that I think we will have to be Bison fans first and UGA fans second.  I figure this is ok since they aren't in the same division anyway.  Go Bulldogs!